ritard: updates from home recent discussion with my brother: bro: just so you don’t hear any rumors, the hamster is living in the dishwasher me: what. bro: yeah he escaped and i can’t catch him, but he keeps going into the space under the dishwasher. dad leaves food and water outside to lure him out, but he just eats it at night and goes back in. me: are you at least going to try and catch...
Full text, because this is amazing. fuck you, scalpers. terminal 5 shows added. holy shit this here is just to say that we were more than taken aback and surprised about the speed of ticket sales for the april 2nd msg gig, as well as the effectiveness of scalper pieces of fucking shit at getting their hands on said tickets before fans could, and it’s knocked us on our asses. no—we didn’t have a...
Doctor’s office. 6:43 PM. I gotta go get the bus and an ass in my face. What? I go to work on the bus in the morning I got an ass in my face. I come home at night and I got an ass in my face. Look it up. I took pictures. On my Facebook. In the wtf files. Ass in my face. (Proceeds to show friend cell phone) Oh girl look at her ass. That’s a he! What kind of silky stuff he...